The Origins of Rigorous Kindness

Pete Tobias

In 2020 I published a small book entitled ‘Putting the ‘o’ in God.’ It began life as a series of rabbinic reflections on what I had learned and come to believe about Judaism as I reached the autumn of my rabbinic career. Focusing on the Jewish predilection for not writing the name of God, its basic thesis was that writing G-d (and other circumlocutions) symbolised organised religion’s detachment from and neglect of the ancients’ concept of the Divine and their relationship with it. Putting the ‘o’ back in God was to take a step away from the restrictions, shortcomings and irrelevance of organised religion and to resume the search for a ‘grown-up view of God’ fit for purpose in the 21st century.

 

It was the idea of that search which led me to give the book its rather presumptuous strapline ‘in search of a Progressive Jewish theology.’ That search, as manifested in the book, then took an unexpected direction. In the ‘Afterword’ of the book, I wrote:

 

‘…after I’d written about four chapters, I came across a Twitter thread from Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg. It was about stages of spirituality or faith development; a progression suggested by James Fowler in the early 1980s. It seemed to fit with where my thinking was heading – that human beings were stuck in a kind of adolescent phase with regard to their understanding of or relationship with God. I felt that a grown-up attitude to God was needed, but I couldn’t work out what that might be.

 

So I thought that these stages of faith development might provide a direction for my thoughts. But as I read through the stages, I was hugely underwhelmed with his conclusion of what constituted the highest level of faith and spiritual maturity… (that) the pinnacle of faith development is the devotion of one’s life to the service of others. When I first read it, this struck me as rather banal: I felt as though the human striving to discover God ought to be more than living an altruistic life dedicated to the service of others.’[1] 

 

Nevertheless, the evolution of the book saw a second section emerge, in which a second ‘o’ was added to God, making God a manifestation of the potential for and realisation of good in the behaviour of human beings.

 

My colleague and good friend, Rabbi Richard Jacobi, was and is a keen supporter of the ideas promoted in this book. He is also very fond of oxymorons where two seemingly contradictory words encourage the reader to think about how they can be used in juxtaposition to each other to encourage a new way of thinking about a subject. ‘Life, perhaps always, but certainly in the rapidly evolving world of the 21st century, involves embracing seemingly mutually exclusive concepts and perhaps reframing them in such ways that they help us navigate a confusing and stormy world,’ he wrote.[2] Some of the examples include ‘confidently uncertain’ or ‘paradoxically clear’.[3] He coined the phrase ‘Rigorous Kindness’ to seek to describe the way in which the manifestation of ‘God’ as ‘Good’ outlined in the previous paragraph can and should be implemented.

 

One of my concerns about my conclusion at the end of the 2020 edition of this book was that the idea of being kind to other people in whatever context seemed somewhat underwhelming as a theology. So it was that ‘Rigorous Kindness’ came into being: the idea that acts of kindness are not merely random ways of making the world seem a little better for both the beneficiary and the provider of said kindnesses. It is important that an element of rigour is applied to such acts to ensure that they are part of a broader approach to the world on an individual, communal and even global level. Such an approach requires an individual, a community and – it is to be hoped – even a national government placing kindness at the heart of its world view and behaviour in a way that is grounded and consistently evaluated and refined.

Random acts of kindness are all well and good but in order for that potential generosity of spirit to become integrated into society as a whole, acts of kindness in whatever sphere need to be part of a deliberate and disciplined way of life. A rigorously kind society would necessarily be one centred on principles of justice and fairness, care for the weakest, and resistance to or robust action against the abuse of others and/or the rigorously kind system. A rigorously kind society would be ensuring no member of that society would have to choose between heating and eating, let alone being unable to do either! The cost of living crisis of the early 2020s, the climate emergency evident in the arid drought and fires of a mega-hot summer, all show us that something new and rigorously kind is desperately needed.

 

So putting that second ‘o’ in God and positing a theology based upon the way of life that emerges from seeking to be and bring that Good into the world addresses the strapline of this book: ‘in search of a Progressive Jewish theology.’ Just being kind to others – and oneself – is hardly a theology. But an approach that promotes and encourages a deeply compassionate engagement with the world and the people with whom one shares it echoes the prophets of Ancient Israel and reconnects with their vision of God being manifest in the world through socially responsible human behaviour. Such an approach, if rigorously applied to every aspect of life – personal, social, political, economic, legal, environmental and who knows what other field? – could improve the quality of life for everyone. 

 

Such a theology, reconnecting with the yearning for social justice that underpinned the writing and compilation of the Torah and the Hebrew Bible, is greatly needed as Progressive Judaism looks to redefine itself in dangerous and worrying times. I am delighted that Rabbi Judith Rosen-Berry has joined Richard and me on this project, adding philosophical and theological weight to our reflections. Together we have realised that what we are dealing with is a renewal and rethinking of the classical theology of Progressive Judaism known as ethical monotheism.

 

There will be further conversations and publications about Rigorous Kindness. This project is very much a work in progress. But it feels like the seeds of something very important and necessary for our world: the rediscovery of a definition and manifestation of the divine in our human capacity for compassion and our ability to reach out to others to receive and offer support at so many different levels. This is Rigorous Kindness. 

 

[1] ‘Putting the ‘o’ in God’, Tobias P Jan 2020 p.148-9

[2] The Soft-Hard Oxymoron in Rigorous Kindness, Jacobi R., Jan 2022

[3] ibid.

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